Holiday Blog! Days 490 - 509 Inclusive (TDKR Day)

As many of you know Melissa, Penny and myself went over to Canada to spend a few weeks with Melissa's cousin Tim, his wife Ashley and their occasionally demonic daughter Emma.

I wrote an extensive diary, by hand, day by day, of everything we did. Unfortunately, my hideously bad hand writing and general laziness means I won't be writing up the full holiday day by day. I will however give you a re-cap via the visual medium of captioned photographs. How exciting.

What do you mean "delayed" ?!

She was really good on both flights. She had tummy ache on the way there, but once she'd spewed all over my mother in law she was just dandy.

When we got on the plane we has to check her buggy, and so they gave us this awesome device to get us to baggage claim. She loved it.

Penny and Emma became good friends. Each morning, Penny would make her way to the bottom of the stairs and shout up for her... It was adorable. And somewhat annoying for all of us at 6am.

We went to the zoo where Melissa realised a life long ambition of feeding a giraffe. No, honestly. She's always want to do it!

Penny loves her new snuggley  elephant.

Where'd my piano go?

We went to stay with Ashley's parents for a couple of says. Penny made herself at home.

Look at his socks...

We went to the aptly named "Sun Fest" where we all but boiled alive. Emma got a balloon giraffe. The little boy in the vest got an inflatable penis.

Bob and Anne (Ashley's parents) had a BBQ. Penny got naked.

Then did her best Hitler impression.

We went to stay at Bob's trailer for a night. Penny and Melissa went swimming with Tim and Emma.

She ate food.

Best of friends. I'm glad the two of them weren't like, four years old. It would have been a nightmare. A nice one. But also, a horrible, horrible one.

We went for dinner at a steak house called Jack Astor's. Penny trashed the place. I had sea food pasta.

Bbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Butter wouldn't melt.

We did a whistle stop trip to Niagra Falls. Ashely circled the block while Melissa, Penny and I risked life and limb to run over the road to pose for awkward photos, then dived back in the car. We were there for about 5 minutes. Tops.

Me and Tim got the blame for encouraging Penny to climb the stairs. She did it all by herself though. 3 stairs. Then she banged her face on one of them and the game was over. Still. She's crawling, climbing, talking. It's a scary time.

Ashley bought Penny and Emma matching swimsuits. "Adorable", apparently.

Anyway, that was a brief summary of our holiday in pictorial form. We didn't do a great deal, really. We visited family and friends, and they visited us. We ate mainly BBQ and drank maint Mountain Dew. The good shit. Not the British attempt.

Penny was really well behaved and everyone loved her. She slept the whole way home, like an angel.

Thank God for sky cots.

Anyway, we got home, suitabley jet lagged, on Tuesday 17th. We walked through the door to a curious, and hideous stench at abnout 1:15pm after a minor detour due to poor directions upon leaving the air port.

We freshened up and, in an effort to keep Penny awake until her bedtime went to do a minor shop at (the) ASDA (how I've missed thee). We picked up KFC for lunch/dinner/whatever meal we were on and the headed home. We scranned down and then Melissa put the first of many washes on while I involuntarily fell asleep on the couch leaving Penny to rome freely about the house. I was awoken by Melissa screaming "NO PENNY THAT'S HOT" to warn her away from the radiator, and right then and there I realised it was really, really, really fucking tired.

We bathed Penny at about.. 5pm, then I tried my hardest to stay awake until at least 10pm, but it was 7pm when I threw in the towel, joining Melissa, who was already asleep. Aside from one minor screaming interval from Penny at about 11pm we all slept until 7am, when my alarm woke me up and I meandered to work in a daze, leaving Melissa and Penny to sleep until a reported 11am. Not jealous.

They met me from work, and we met my mum and dad at our house. My dad had built us a new fence in the front garden while we were away, and very nice it is too.

They stayed for a cuppa, and we "discussed" plans for the back garden. I have many. So does Melissa, and so do my parents. Too many cooks spoil the broth, however. So plans have been withdrawn from public consultation while they're reviewed by the committee. Progress will be updated sporadically, when updates are available.

That even I watched Batman Begins while Melissa tried to catch up on Big Brother and Penny caught up on her sleep.

Thursday 19th July came about and went. I remember little of the day as the night time would prove to be epic.

Melissa picked me up from work and we went to Wigan for cat litter and Burger King, then I dropped her at her mum and dads, came home, opened a beer and watched The Dark Knight. I was in bed by 10pm and awake just before my alarm at 3:23am. Then it was time for a quick shower and I was out the door on the way to Manchester.

It was time for the 5am première of The Dark Knight Rises. Oh yes. The screening was sold out, but naturally Me and Stew had the best seats in the house. It was good. I'm going to see again tomorrow night. Coz it was so good.

After the film we had breakfast at a place called... Well, I forget what it was called. It was very swanky though. And I broke my eggs Benedict cherry. 

Posh noms.

We met Colin to gloat that we'd seen the film before him, then headed home. I picked Melissa and Penny up and we went to Toys R Us, Ikea, then to Starbucks to keep my caffeine levels up, then to B&Q for some garden inspiration, then to (the) ASDA in Wigan for some foody supplies, then home.

We bathed and fed Penny, then put her to bed and ate our tea, then Melissa got on with the unpacking and I put the drawer I bought from IKEA together, before installing it in my pre-existing desk and Melissa finally figured out where the hideous, curious smell was coming from.

And now we're up to date.

Normal service will resume on Sunday, I expect, as I will be home late tomorrow night and wont be in the mood to blog. I just wanted to get this out the way.

I've been up since 3:23am. I'm absolutely shattered and will soon be going to bed, but before I do I want to say thank you very much to the Canada gang for making us feel so welcome. Their generosity, kindness and hospitality was overwhelming at times, and I'd like to say we'd do our very best to reciprocate, given the opportunity. So, Thank You guys, eh?