Me and Penny watched The Phantom Menace last night while Melissa had a lovely sleep. While we both agreed it was shit, we rather enjoyed it anyway. I'd forgotten how hideously annoying Jar Jar Binks was.
Penny slept well last night, again. We got another 5 hours straight. My alarm went at 7am, and instead of snoozing it, I cancelled it. 7:25am I jumped awake, subconsciously aware I was running late. I dived out of bed, into the shower, dived out, dressed myself, ran downstairs, put the recycling out, brushed my teeth and drove to work, arriving in the car park somewhat ironically earlier than normal.
I bedded in, ready to face Thursday at work, only to get a phonecall from Melissa at 11am saying that I needed to come home early so we could drive into Wigan to pick up our new car. What sort of man would I be to argue with my wife? I spoke to the ever lenient Perry, my manager (who doesn't even read this, so the Lord knows why I'm sucking up) and he agreed that I could go at half 11, and also booked me in for holiday tomorrow and Monday. Long weekend here I come!
I got home, to find the health visitor talking to Melissa. Everything is fine but she thinks Penny might have acid reflux (she used a longer name that I cant even begin to remember) and suggested booking in to the doctor to get some baby Gaviscon. Penny is now 7lb8oz which is excellent.
Once she left I looked after Penny while Melissa had a shower, then Melissa's mother came round, ostensibly to watch Penny for 45 minutes while we went into to Wigan to pick up the new car.
We were there for nearly 3 hours.
There was problems getting documents from the finance company, basically, and as a result we still don't have our new car that we were told we'd get on Tuesday. Sigh. "Definitely" tomorrow, Andy, the salesman said. We shall see.
After our failed car purchase we headed to Robin park for some retail therapy (we needed cat litter) and I picked up a tool for removing the radio from the new car. Just coz.
We popped into a shop to pick up some wrapping paper (it's the mother in laws birthday tomorrow) and while we were paying for it the lady behind the counter was blowing up one of those novelty helium balloons in the shape of a number 7. I said to her "how often do those things escape? I notice there's none stuck in the ceiling". She was apparently in no mood for banter, as she shot back with a stern and firm "never".
Seconds later I was able to take this photo :
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| Irony is a bitch. |
Somewhat amusingly the balloon she was tying escaped and floated uninhibited into the ceiling space. We all laughed, even the store assistant with the stern attitude.
Then we headed home.
We relieved my mother in law who was wearing one of Melissa's hoodies, having been dreched in Penny's vomit Exorcist style.
Melissa then changed Penny and headed out to see a friend, leaving me in charge. I fed her and we watched some TV together. I took this :
Then, a bit later Melissa came home with a lovely chippy tea.
We've just had a phone call from a number that the caller ID identified as "INTERNATIONAL". I answered and was asked by a lady with an accent if she could speak to "Nick Kehoe". I said "no". She didn't know what to say. Then I asked "who is this please? What's this regarding". It was a consumer survey, apparently. I raised my voice and said "you realise it's 9pm? I have young children here trying to sleep... " and she hung up.
She must have sensed that it was a lie; Penny was not trying to sleep, she was kicking her shit-covered legs in the air and drooling while Melissa cleaned her without the aid of a HAZMAT suit. She's a braver woman than I am. That is to say, she's a braver woman than I am a brave man. You know what I mean.
I'm angry at the phone call from earlier. Not at the phone call, but at the cheeky bitch who hung up on me without the decency of apologising for the wrong number and the lateness of the call. It really boiled my piss.
I'm going to (the) ASDA now. I will march around in a rage.
Penny's feeding pattern is slightly skewed so we should be in for an interesting night, if Melissa ever gets all the shit off her knees. That's Penny's knees. Melissa is generally quite clean.
Friday tomorrow. Best day of the week. Lots planned, especially now I have the day off.
See you then! I hope the standard of this blog is up to your harsh but exacting standards.

